Episode 15 – Peter

Peter stared up at the ceiling, every cell in his body aching. By this time today, he’d supposed to have been long gone, somewhere in the city living his own life, yet here he was. All because he’d gone after Thomas. No, Fredrick, he reminded himself. And now Thomas was downstairs being treated like a hero, and he was up here, alone. Alone with his thoughts, which kept flashing back to the man he had almost killed, the man he should have killed.

The door opened, and Peter’s heart sank. Great. The last thing he needed right now was an annoying roommate. However, Carter didn’t seem to notice he was there. He heard him walk over to his bed and sit down. The silence that followed was probably worse than if he had spoken.

“You, know,” Carter began finally, and Peter glared up at the ceiling, “everyone’s looking for you downstairs. They say you’re some sort of hero.” Silence.

Just go already.

“I’m not even going to try to understand what happened, but from what I heard, you deserve to be down there with them.”

“I bet Thomas is telling everyone how heroic he was.” He gritted his teeth.

“Thomas? I haven’t seen him since he slipped outside. What does he have to do with anything?”

What does he have to do with anything?! Only that this whole thing was his fault. Only that his father killed my parents. Only that he’s the reason I’m stuck at this stupid academy in the first place!

“Look,” Carter said, suddenly sounding frustrated and commanding, “You know there are plenty of people willing to be your friend if you would just let them! What are you so afraid will happen if you open up to someone, or at least be friendly?”

“You know what?” Peter was shaking, the stress and anger he’d been holding back coming out now. “Maybe I have tried making friends! Maybe they all left when I actually needed them! Maybe I don’t need anyone!” he couldn’t stay here. If he did, he might just punch a hole through Carter, or the wall. Getting up, he stalked over to the door and left, closing it behind him way harder than was necessary. Stupid friends.

He stormed down the hallway and down the only stairs in the building. Just as he was about to reach for the door outside, it opened, and Nico appeared in the frame. He stopped, blinked, then looked like he was about to start talking. Peter pushed past him, clenching his jaw. Why did everyone have to bother him? Why couldn’t they see he just wanted to be alone?!

Crickets hummed in the grass along the woods as he walked toward the crashing waves. I don’t need friends. That was what he kept telling himself at least, so why did it hurt so much? He was jolted out of his thoughts as a sound drifted toward him from the beach, where a figure was kneeling on the sand. Couldn’t anyone leave him alone? He was about to turn away when he heard it again. The guy was crying. Maybe the guy wouldn’t see if he just walked away.  Yet there was something familiar about him. The dark blonde hair, the disgustingly tan-colored pants. Thomas. I bet he’s regretting betraying all his “friends” or maybe that no one will be his friend because he’s a jerk. It was better not to think about it. Best to just walk away while he could. So then why wouldn’t his legs let him?

A vision of his friends walking away from him while he was alone and hurting flashed in his mind, and he shook it away. This was stupid. He would just walk away. Thomas deserved to be alone. Just like you do.

Yeah, well that’s different. They left because—

Because you pushed them away. Because they didn’t care enough to stay when you weren’t there for them.

Like Thomas was ever there for anyone?

No answer. He had no answer. What had Thomas done? Made him an enemy from day one? Betray him the one time he’d trusted him? Yet looking down at Thomas kneeling on the beach, he didn’t look like the Thomas who was above everyone else. Maybe that’s why he did the unthinkable; why he took one step toward Thomas, then another, until he was next to Thomas, then kneeling in the sand next to him.

For a moment, he just sat there, not sure what to say or do, all too aware that Thomas had gone rigid.

“Look,” he finally said, mustering up the courage, “you’re a jerk. You push people away and pretend to be above everyone else. It seems to me that you just want to keep them away from your real self. The part of you that’s so broken you won’t let anyone else see it.”

Thomas just sat there, though he seemed to relax just a bit.

For a few minutes, neither of them spoke, and Peter was just about to get up when Thomas took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry for what happened back at the Rose. You don’t know what Dirty Paws is capable of, what he’s done to me.” Every word sounded like it took a lot of effort.

“Dirty Paws? You seriously call him Dirty Paws?”

The trace of a smile crossed Thomas’ face. “That’s what my sister and I called him, you know, before—” he trailed off, looking down at the sand.

He has a sister? What else had Thomas hidden all this time? What had Thomas’ life been like before the academy, with a father who had killed people without a second thought. He didn’t want to think about it.

The sound of footsteps in the sand behind him jerked him back to the present. Quin. “Exactly how long have you been standing there?” he asked without turning around.

“Hey, I can’t help my ninja-like movements,” Quin said, coming to sit beside Peter. “I never got the chance to thank you,” she continued. “Both of you. Without you two I would still be—anyway, thanks.”

Peter felt his face go hot. “You know,” he shrugged, “I am the best.” It seems to me that you just want to keep them away from your real self. Shut up, me.

“You know, you could just accept that she’s offering you a compliment,” a new voice, Lucy, or Emma, or whoever, said.

Really? Was this some kind of party? He could imagine way too easily Quin yelling, “Hey, everyone who was kidnapped in the last 24 hours, we’re having a party on the beach where Jack just so happens to be.” Two people sat down beside Quin. Great, and she brought Nico.

“Look,” Peter snapped, getting to his feet and facing the group. All faces were turned to him, except Thomas, who was still staring at the ground like it was a staring competition. “I—we saved you. Isn’t that enough? I don’t want to be part of your group, I don’t want friends, and I’m not going to go around fixing up old ladies’ homes. So you can just leave and—” He stopped, realizing that Emma was looking flabbergasted, Nico was looking confused, and Quin was staring at him suspiciously.

“Fixing up old ladies’ homes?” Emma repeated. “So it wasn’t Thomas, it was you. You followed us, didn’t you? Hopped on the boat like Thomas? Reported me to the principal?”

Peter closed his eyes. Stupid. No, not stupid. He’d done exactly what he’d wanted to. He didn’t need friends or some stupid group.

Thomas stood up suddenly. “Look, it doesn’t matter.” His voice betrayed the tears he was trying to hide. “The Children of Light is over. Dirty—my dad,” he paused, taking a deep breath, “knows who we are. Emma can see her sister any time she wants, and Jack’s right. It’s better to just be alone.” He turned away from the group and headed away.

Peter closed his eyes, knowing he’d regret what he said next. “No. It isn’t.” Thomas stopped, and Peter kept going, even though his insides felt like jelly. “You know why your father is after us? Because we’re a threat. You guys are a threat to him. Just like the other Children of Light. You want to stay in hiding?” He turned to Emma. “You want to never see your family again? There’s only one way out of this. We have to defeat… ‘Dirty Paws’.”

“Okay, if we do this, we’re going to need a better name for him,” Nico cut in. 

Everyone glared at him.

“What? I literally haven’t said anything this whole time! Plus, we all know we’re going to do this, right? We’re not going to let him take the city. Jack is right. There’s a reason he feels threatened by us. Because we can throw off his plans. We can defeat him.”

“My friends call me Peter,” Peter said, his heart in his throat. Why are you doing this?

“Am I literally the only one who doesn’t have a fake name?” Nico asked incredulously. If we’re going to work together, we’re going to have to figure out what to call each other.”

Quin shrugged, though she was beaming at Peter. “He does have a point.”

“Seriously?” Thomas asked. “And who said I was in on this?”

“Really?” Peter shot back. “Tell me you don’t want to see your dad be brought to justice, Fredrick.”

“Never call me that,” Thomas growled, his face turning red.

“See what I mean?” Quin put in. “Okay, we’ll just keep calling you Thomas, or Thom for—”

“Just. Thomas.”

“Alright. Thomas, Peter, Nico…” everyone turned to Emma. It was obvious she was fighting with something inside.

Finally, in a small voice she said, “Lucy. I’m done hiding.”

“So, we’re all in this together?” Quin asked, a smirk spreading across her face. She put her hand forward.

Nico put his hand on top. Peter stared at it. Really? She had to be kidding. With a shaky breath, Emma—Lucy—put her hand in, then slowly, Thomas. Peter hesitated. If he did this, there was no going back. Part of his mind screamed “Friends will always leave you” but the other part of him knew it was a lie. Gritting his teeth, he put his hand on top, a feeling of warmth traveling up into his soul. Please don’t let me regret this.

Quin’s grin lit up her face. “The Children of Light are back!”